Indigo Girl

We Have Offered Her Unconditional Surrender and Are Awaiting Her Terms

This is how my days and nights have been for the last week.

And now for something completely different.

This weekend A told the girls that C hadn't slept very well and he might be cranky.  E asked mournfully, "Again?"  When he told me, we both fell over, dead from parent guilt.

Interestingly, I wrote these entries when E and L were 8 months old.  (C turned 8 months on Monday.)  Two weeks later I wrote this:

Also, I'm not mentioning this because I don't want to jinx us, but TWO nights in a row with not one night wakening.  Not one.  A blissful night of just sleep.  Imagine that.  But I didn't mention it.  Shhhh.

It gives me hope.  That and the fact that it's my turn for the couch while A deals with Her Royal Pain In the Assness upstairs.  Earplugs away.

You Know It Was A Bad Night With The Baby . . .

. . . when I'm thoughtfully eyeing the bottle of wine that I opened to use in the pasta sauce and it's not even noon.

What I'm Doing Today

Last night I had to get up twice to replace C's pacifiers.  Today I ordered those breathable bumper pads I asked you guys about the other day.  Her top right tooth is almost in and consequently our lovely sleep pattern of one-waking-per-night was ruined last night.  Then this morning it was 7:20 (TOO EARLY) and she was talking and rolling and then mad that she was on the wrong end of the crib.  At least she's taking a nice morning nap.

(Addition: she took a great morning nap!  Um, except now it's quiet time and usually I am bereft of all 3 kids and instead C is rolling around the dining room looking at me expectantly.  "What are we gonna do, Mom?  Drool?  I've got that covered.")

While I was ordering the bumpers, I ordered a new baby gate for the top of the stairs.  Our old one is ugly and a pain to open/close.  No 4-year-old could do it.  Now that our basement is finished, we need a gate that will keep C from breaking her neck but let E and L escape to the big girl toys.

As long as I was in a buying mood (and I was!), I took advantage of this awesome book + CD deal that Mir at Want Not pointed out.  I can gift the books that we already have and I think it'll be fun to have something new to listen to in the car.

Do you have an E, too?  Mine loves the elegant elephant book that my in-laws got her.  She can "read" it to me almost word-for-word.  When she's 14 and six feet tall, she'll probably dislike sharing her name with an elephant, but right now she thinks it's super cool.

I said to E, "Don't put your [clean] underwear on your sister's head."  She replied, "But she likes it!" and based on C's giggle, I had to agree.

Finished my Blurb book for 2006.  Whew!  Almost caught up!

Doing my part for the planet: why hasn't anyone suggested that I use nontoxic disposables for my one disposable per night habit?  It never occurred to me.  They are more expensive and I do try to be thrifty, but I'm fortunate not to be choosing between diapers and paying my mortgage so I'm able to pay a little more.  (Although, honestly?  I know food prices are increasing and I'm feeding 5 people now, but DAMN!  My grocery bill was huge yesterday.  Thriftiness versus environmental responsibility is such a hard line for me to walk.) 

I also bought some CFLs.  I know they're supposed to singlehandedly heal the world, and they're not nearly as annoying as they were 4 years ago when I tried them, but I broke one immediately so now my house is contaminated with mercury and we'll all die a slow horrible death.  At the rate our ceiling fans burn out light bulbs maybe it's a fair trade.

I had this conversation with L:

L: Mama, what's an ion?
Me: An ion?
L: Yes, an ion!
Me: I don't understand what you're asking, honey.
Me (thinking): Because you CAN'T be asking about ions, can you?
L: NO!  What's an ION?!

REPEAT FOREVER.  Finally, I understand.

Me: What's an "eye on?"  Like when I say "Keep an eye on C"?
L (as if I'm stupid which I sort of am): YES.

It rained today.

Best Dad EVAH!

I worked Friday and Saturday night this weekend and therefore slept all day Saturday.  This meant that A was in charge of all three girls and taking them to a family gathering at his grandparents' "retirement community" or "incredibly fancy hotel" complete with an in-house restaurant, outdoor playground, and indoor playroom.  You would think that he was the most amazing dad in the world with all the gushing and thanks that he received.  I haul those kids around our city all week long and he ventures out WITH HIS MOM and it's like he cured cancer and caused world peace.  It reminds me of being at a family gathering when E and L were infants and he changed a (single) diaper and his aunt sighed over him with "Oh, you're such an INVOLVED DAD!"

I know that these words are from the generation where the dads sat on the couch and drank a beer and just said "Listen to your mutha" to everything.  I roll my eyes and am tolerant.  It makes me more sad than annoyed because these women probably did every damn thing themselves without any support or help whatsoever.

I mentioned before that C is at that age where any noise while nursing causes her to pull off and investigate.  She unlatches first, so there's that.  I tend to take her upstairs and nurse her in our room more than before, but she gets distracted by my face.  It is super-duper sweet~it is~when I move or breathe and she pulls off and gazes at me.  Her expression is part adoration and part expectation, like "What totally cool thing are you going to do, Mama?"  She is currently nursing about 5 times in a 24 hour period: after breakfast, after lunch, after nap, bedtime, and once in the middle of the night.  I tried adding an extra daytime nursing to see if she'd drop the middle of the night one, but no go.  There is no way I will complain about waking once a night for 10 minutes since so recently I was still nursing her three times per night.  She wakes up, A retrieves her, she nurses frantically for about 5 minutes, I deposit her back in her crib, and we all sleep until 8.  If I'm working, she takes a 4 oz bottle.

This morning I watched her roll over front-to-back (not new), but then she rolled back to her stomach.  I don't think it's the first time she's done that, but it is the first time I've witnessed it, so let's record it as a milestone.  She's done it a half dozen times in the last 30 minutes so I picture her rubbing her hands briskly together like, "Okay, roll over back-to-front.  Check."

This morning L fed C yogurt in a one-bite-for-me-then-one-bite-for-you sort of way.  It was super cute to see C's gaze of adoration directed toward L.

Mother's Day is coming up.  I have such mixed feelings about holidays like Mother's Day.  I am not a gift person and treating me lovingly and respectfully all year long goes much farther than showering me with gifts once a year.  Between infertility and my mom's death, I've had two happy Mother's Days in my adult life: the year I was pregnant with E and L and then the next year when they turned 1.  HOWEVER.  I've wanted a mother's ring for a while (I know!  I so rarely wear jewelry.  Why do I love it so?) and I might pick one out soon.  I found one recently that had trillion (triangle) cut stones in an alternating pattern.  I would get E and L's birthstones (emeralds) on the outside and C's (sapphire) on the inside.  (Found a picture!)  Anyone giving or getting something exceptional?

Since I just reminded you that we are done having kids, I will tell you discreetly that A's vasectomy went fine.  I wasn't a bit sore!  We had to watch a movie that, based on makeup/hair, I would guess was made in the early 80s.  It started with "You may be wondering what vasectomy means.  "Vas" comes from . . . " and then I fell asleep.  The urologist looked like he was doing vasectomies for the last hundred years so I felt confident after our questions were answered and I went to the lobby to read my book.  A came out walking like a cowboy about 15 minutes later and we went home.  He was sore for the next week, but no complications.  He estimates that the entire procedure and post-procedure soreness hurt less than one labor contraction.  He's one smart cookie, isn't he?

Hey, did you guys see that I won a prize in the Guess Swistle's Name/Picture contest?  I AM FAMOUS.

As long as I'm linking to stuff, did anyone watch the first Oprah/Tom Cruise interview last week?  If so (and even if not), you'll love Bossy's interpretation.

Problem: Able to Move Backward, NOT Forward

Last night she woke up 3 times because she had rolled over and couldn't roll herself back to her stomach.  Then she got caught in the crib slats.  I love the mobile stage, but I don't love this pre-mobile stage, this era of unintentional movement followed by righteous indignation.

Vignettes

MY EARS ARE LIKE WHAT?

The other day I commented that I think C's right ear sticks out farther than her left.  A replied, "Just like yours!" and I was all, "WHAT?! My ears do WHAT?"  My mental picture of myself is all messed up.

SOMETIMES I AM SLOW

C has been so crabby lately.  Oddly crabby.  I figured it was just the fact that she rarely gets a morning nap and instead sleeps 3-4 hours every afternoon.  Yesterday she woke up from her nap and I nursed her, but she was still crabby.  I finally had an epiphany and gave her a snack.  Happiness is a banana and graham crackers.

This morning she was crabby so I gave her lunch early and she ate 2 helpings of pasta and black beans, a bunch of strawberries, and an entire piece of string cheese.  Geez, you'd think I've done this before.

CAVEAT

I have raved about child-led feeding ad nauseam, but I do have one complaint.  If your kid is not used to you spooning food into her mouth then you will try to feed her yogurt or applesauce or a bite of your yummy mashed sweet potatoes with butter and brown sugar and she will ask, "WTF, Mama?"

NATURAL COMEDIENNE

Me: Wow, L, you sure put a lot of toothpaste on your toothbrush!
L: I got a lotta teeth!

L comes out of the bathroom with her hands over her ears.

Me: What are you doing?
L: I don't want to hear you ask me if I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.

PACIFIER SAVER?

Does anyone use those breathable mesh bumpers?  They look like they'll keep pacifiers safely inside the crib and facilitate self-soothing at 3 am.  If C drops all of the 4 pacifiers that are in her crib and then we sneak over and try to surreptitiously pick them up off the floor and replace them like what? they were there all the time! then she sees us and gets mad.  If she finds the pacifier on her own, she pops it in her mouth and all is well.

STILL SLOW SOMETIMES

Last week, during our heat wave, I cleaned all the floors and then turned the ceiling fans on.  Instantly, it was snowing dust in my house.  I had to clean the fans and then clean the floors again.  It took all of quiet time and I was incredibly frustrated by the end.

BROWNIES PLUS PUDDING PLUS COOL WHIP PLUS CRUSHED HEATH BARS

That there above is the dessert I made last night.  Unfortunately, I have leftovers and I made a deal with myself: Eat lunch and if you still want some, you may have some.  I figured that if I wasn't hungry, I would eat a reasonable portion (ONE).  This proved untrue.

Sticky Note

A few scenes from my life that make me grateful.

Poor third child.  Too small to be in the bath with her big sisters right now, she's forced to watch from the sidelines.  Of course, she has no idea that she's getting the short stick and giggles gleefully as E and L splash her and hit her in the face with toys.  Then she bounces excitedly and loses her balance, falling over and almost whacking her head.  She immediately is arching and reaching for the side of the tub again, pissed that her entertainment is so out of reach.  I'd like to do her bath first~she hits the wall right around the time we're brushing E and L's teeth and needs to go down immediately~but when I did that she ended up taking two baths.

See that little coat on the left, the one with pink trim around the hood?  That's C's.  I never thought I'd have one child, let alone a bonus third.  AND she slept from 8-8 last night, only waking once at 3:30 for a quick ten minute nursing.

E and L picked flowers in our backyard.  They clutched their little bouquets tightly in their fists and carefully shoved them into mason jars.  I think they're beautiful.

We Were the PARENTS!

A and I attended our first parent-teacher conference last week (there was a telephone conference in the fall) and we were the parents.  It was kinda surreal.  In all our years of infertility treatments, I would think ahead to having babies, not (pre)school-age children.  Anyway, their teacher said a lot of the same things about each girl, but I'm going to transcribe everything here so that I have it recorded in a second place.  Feel free to skip the transcribed italicized stuff.

Sometimes I am just amazed at the differences between E and L.  (And then I think, "Why am I so amazed?  They're different people!")  I think it's best illustrated by the results when I say, "Okay, quiet time is over.  Clean your room and you can come downstairs."  Pictures below.

We started with E and the very first thing Mrs. B said was, "She is just so . . . kind.  She is always willing to share, to move over and make room for another child, she worries about other people's feelings.  She is one of the kindest children I've ever seen."  Sniff.  It made me really proud, but I'm pragmatic enough that I asked, "Does she stick up for herself, too, or is she sort of a pushover?"  I was reassured that she can assert herself when needed, but she really is sweet.  Her evaluation said the following:

Participates in Group Activities - Always.  Volunteers.  Comfortable doing things in front of others.  Eager.

Attention Span Is Appropriate For Group Time - Good listener.

Willing To Try New Experiences - E seems pleased with her abilities.  Comfortable trying new things.

Listens and Follows Directions - Very well behaved.  Stays on task.  Good listening skills.

Shares and Plays Cooperatively - Well liked by peers.  Kind, inclusive.  Loves dress up and dramatic play.

Follows the Daily Routine - Comfortable with our routine and with the teachers.  Transitions well.

Seeks Help When Needed - Yes.  Independent skills are well developed.

Gross Motor Skill Development - E needs more exposure to running, hopping, jumping, galloping, balancing.  Alternates feet going up stairs, not going down.

Fine Motor Skill Development - Age appropriate.  Left handed while cutting.  Has a tendency to overprocess.

Language Development - Soft spoken, but E has a large vocabulary.  Language is clear and expressive.

"E is a happy, sensitive, and delightful four year old who has had a very positive preschool experience.  She has participated in and enjoyed all areas of our routine.  She seems pleased with her abilities and tries very hard to do her best.  E's small motor skills are very age appropriate and well-developed.  There are some delays in her large motor skills but they are not a concern at this time.  She just needs more exposure.  She is kind and caring with her peers and is well liked.  I have so enjoyed getting to know E.  She is a sweetheart!"

In her folder was an example of her cutting along a straight line and an activity involving sorting candles according to size.  She did both very well.  She hadn't done a self-portrait yet and when she drew it Thursday morning, it was so darn cute that they'd like to use it for the art fair so I haven't seen it yet.  We also learned that she puts on the bride's dress every morning and wears it through the entire class.  Hee.

I asked about the gross motor skills and it's quite minor.  She couldn't hop across the room on one foot without stopping to readjust.  Um, I can't do that.  Neither A nor I are what you would call "graceful" and E has always been on the slow end of gross motor skills with her vision problems.  I will bring it up with the pediatrician because the eye doctor is always asking, "How is she doing with all her milestones?" and I should be able to answer him.

E's bed picture up there just cracks me up.  When it's bedtime she sort of squishes herself in and around the animals and we pull the covers up over everything.  Once, A was comforting L during a bad dream.  He couldn't even see E, but suddenly her face appeared through the pile of stuffed animals, she said sternly, "I'm trying to sleep," and then she disappeared again.

L's bed, on the other hand, well . . . it's sort of obvious, isn't it?  Once I was in the shower and she came in crying.  I asked her what was wrong and between hiccups, she wailed, "My bed is not obeying me!"  Poor thing couldn't get her blanket straight and tucked in right.  We've been woken up in the night to help her adjust her covers satisfactorily.

The first thing Mrs. B said about L is "She really is quite assertive."  A and I laughed because, um, yeah.  The next comment was "She has a very positive self-image."  HA!  Yes, she does, I say emphatically.  Just last week she mentioned, "I'm perfect.  I don't make mistakes," and was TOTALLY OFFENDED when I explained that we all make mistakes and no one is perfect.  She had a smug little look on her face as she listened and I know she was thinking, "Plebian.  Of course you think that.  You are flawed.  Only I know my own perfection."

Participates in Group Activities - Always.  L enjoys doing things in front of others.  Often volunteers. Eager.

Attention Span Is Appropriate For Group Time - Good listener.

Willing To Try New Experiences - L seems pleased with her abilities and is comfortable trying new things.  Often volunteers.

Listens and Follows Directions - Very capable.  Well behaved.  Stays on task.  Good listening skills.

Shares and Plays Cooperatively - Well liked by peers.  Kind, inclusive.  Really likes dress up and dramatic play.  Assertive.

Follows the Daily Routine - Very comfortable with our routine and with the teachers.  Transitions well.

Seeks Help When Needed - Yes.  Independent skills are well developed.

Gross Motor Skill Development - Age appropriate.  L needs more exposure to hopping, galloping.  Alternates feet going up stairs, not going down.

Fine Motor Skill Development - Very capable.  Right handed while cutting.  Really enjoys art activities.  Tends to overprocess at times.

Language Development -  Language is clear and expressive. Wide vocabulary.  Speaks in sentences.

"L is a capable and happy four year old who has had a very good preschool experience.  She has participated in and enjoyed all areas of our routine.  She seems very pleased with her abilities and tries very hard to do her best.  L's small motor skills are age appropriate and well developed.  She could use more exposure to develop her large motor skills.  L is well liked by her peers and enjoys performing in front of them.  She can be assertive and must be reminded to wait her turn.  I have so enjoyed getting to know this delightful little lady!"

I asked about the assertiveness because while that is a great trait, I don't want it to turn into aggressiveness.  She said that L needs reminders that she doesn't always have to be first and that she doesn't always get a turn.  Sometimes they only have time for a few kids to do something (like the Little Miss Muffet reenactment from a few weeks ago) and she won't be able to participate.  She repeated that L has a very positive self-image and told us that, most likely, her peers will knock her down a peg or two eventually.  We remind her to take turns or share, but her peers will be much better at it.  If no one will play with you because you don't share, you learn to share a lot faster.  But, she added, she's (almost) four and if a four year old wants to think they're perfect, we should let them!

Her self-portrait was adorable and "very advanced" with all the body parts.  She had a head with facial features, ears, and hair, a neck, body, arms and legs with hands and feet.  Also, the sun.  She wrote her name (minus the R which is "too hard!").  She dresses up every day, too, but unlike E's consistant bridal choice, L varies her selection.

She said that they do a great job of playing separately; they do not seem to be excessively dependent on each other like other multiples she's seen.  I requested that they be in different small groups next year and she agreed.  (Most of the class is spent in free play or large organized activities, but at the end is handwashing/snack/small group time where they are in a group of 7 kids.  Currently they are together.)  I'm hoping it'll give me an idea of whether or not they should be in the same or different kindergarten class.  Most schools' old time firm policy of separation has given way to a lax policy of working with parents to determine what is best for each individual kid.  So we sort of have to know what is best and I think minor separation next year will be helpful.

At the end she complimented our parenting and gushed a bit and then said, "And they're not picky eaters at all!  They're always willing to try new things!" and I was sad that we had wasted all this time talking about someone else's kids because obviously the non-picky eaters are not my kids.

My Parenting Issues

Once again, this is the Ask Moxie post that prompted me to finish writing about this particular aspect of parenting.

A while ago I wrote a post about how I feel I am a very strict parent, but that it's hard to evaluate your own parenting.  I never published it because whenever I proofread it, I felt like I sounded pompous and arrogant and I couldn't get the tone right.  However, it dealt with my own emotional damage and how I have to work diligently to not be the same parent that my dad was.  The more L grows and matures, the more I see how she and I (and my dad) are very alike in temperament and my behavior becomes even more important.  I want to be the one who has to do the hard work of NOT following the abusive parenting example I was given.  I want her to only have to deal with the minor-by-comparison screw ups that A and I will inevitably make.  It is intense pressure at times.

My dad had severe depression and  paranoid personality disorder.  (For all I know he still does.  He hasn't spoken to me in almost 10 years.)  He would never have gone somewhere to be diagnosed, so these diagnoses come through my brother and brother-in-law, a PhD in psychology and a MS in family counseling, respectively.  My dad and I have a lot of the same personality traits, especially the parts about being highly critical of ourselves and others and our inability to take criticism.  Hoo boy.  That's a post in and of itself.

I grew up in at atmosphere where making a mistake was unacceptable.  We were not only expected to do our best, we were expected to excel at everything.  Our best should be perfect.  I struggle constantly with allowing myself to make mistakes, to be less than perfect.  It is so hard for me to admit that I don't know everything, that I was wrong, that I made a mistake and I'm sorry.  Each time I do, I feel victorious, because I know that my dad would never admit to that.  Each time I admit fallibility or ask someone for forgiveness, I know that I am growing and healing and it is a very good thing.

If I did or said something that displeased my dad, he would stop speaking to me.  I would just be cut off.  There were times where he wouldn't speak to me for weeks.  I remember when my sister got engaged to my brother-in-law.  Neither of my parents approved, but my mom tried to keep in contact and maintain their relationship.  When they came to visit, my dad wouldn't eat dinner with us.  He sat in the living room, watching TV and sulking.  As soon as the meal was finished, he went to bed.  It was messed up, yo.

The main problem was not his behavior that I explained above (I know!  Can you imagine what could be worse?!), but that he was so inconsistent with his reactions.  I could make a mistake one time and it would be overlooked, but the next time I would be berated.  I would be allowed to disagree with him this time, but next time I would get the silent treatment.  I could never accurately gauge what his reaction would be and the anxiety was overwhelming.  I remember seeing his temper go from 0 to 60 and watching him struggle not to hit me in frustration.  (For what it's worth, I know he was physically abused and he never once hit us.)  It is a horrible way to grow up and I am so thankful that my mom, while enabling in her own way, showed me unwavering love and affection.  I am probably slightly less damaged than my older siblings.  By the time I was in high school, my parents' marriage was crumbling and my mom's backbone was forming and we were beginning to be a more united front against my father's abuse.  My brother was in graduate school and was extremely helpful in guiding me and shedding light on my dad's behavior.

My family background is one of the main reasons I bristle when I hear the common internet advice "Just trust your motherly instincts."  Hello rose-colored glasses!  Those of us who grew up with less-than-stellar parenting or those of us with unhealthy reactions and coping mechanisms are not safe to trust our instincts.  Our instincts are wrong.  It is one of the reasons that I write this blog.  I can work through my damaged instincts and use my brain to see the healthy choice.  It is one of the reasons I ask you guys for advice.  It is one of the reasons I talk A's ear off when I am processing something.  It is one of the reasons I preach the Love and Logic books.  My parenting instincts are damaged and I have to work to make them healthy.  I need tools that I can use to stay calm in the face of my rage and be consistent and loving with my children.

So you have an idea of what I am up against.  What I struggle with more than anything is the rage that I feel at my kids.  I can get SO ANGRY at them.  What scares me the most is the inconsistency with which I feel it.  What I handle with aplomb one day causes me to boil over on another.  I am allowed to be angry and I am allowed to be angry at my kids.  I am not allowed to show my anger indiscriminately.  This is not fair to them.

The Love and Logic books have been invaluable to me.  They give me a script to follow, so that even when I am screaming inside my head and I want to shake my kid, I am able to control myself and dole out reasonable consequences.  I can have the same consistent reaction every time.  My children see that I can be angry and still behave appropriately, that I will keep them safe, that I am capable of providing them with boundaries and guidelines, and that I love them fiercely.  If I respond consistently to my hot button issues, I am less likely to lose control.  I am in trouble when I am lazy and someone keeps misbehaving, I don't correct it, and finally I blow my top in frustration.  We are all happier and healthier when I am consistent and calm. 

This is where my self-perceived strictness comes in.  I think I am less flexible than other parents I observe, simply because I have to work diligently to match discipline with behavior.  I cannot allow certain behaviors to persist (rudeness and whining come to mind immediately) because I become disproportionally angry.  I owe it to my kids to maintain control of myself even when I'm angry.  They do not deserve to live in fear of my reactions.  I never want them to avoid telling me something because they're afraid of my anger. 

This is not to say I am perfect.  Sometimes I say to them, "I am too angry to talk to you right now.  Please go to your room and I will come get you in a few minutes."  I have lost my temper and apologized many times.  I admit my mistakes to them and say I'm sorry.  I tell them that I got frustrated and yelled and I shouldn't have done that.  I tell them these things and it feels so good.  It feels right to admit that I'm not perfect and to have my kids say, "It's okay, Mama" and hug me.  Our relationship feels more real because I am not putting myself up on a perfection pedestal.  We read Harriet, You'll Drive Me Wild and talk about how Harriet didn't mean to do all those annoying things and her mama didn't mean to yell like that.  I am trying to be aware of my triggers and how to avoid them (or at least how to react reasonably) and that's really all I can do.

Ah.  That felt good.  What are your issues?

Advice: Telling Your Daughters About Menstruation

First, this Ask Moxie post about your unresolved issues influencing your own parenting is really resonating with me.  I urge everyone, even if you believe you had ideal parents, to read it and consider what your own issues are/will be and brainstorm strategies you will use when confronted with those situations.  The comments are especially enlightening.  I'm not posting in the comments because I have so much to say.  I'm going to organize my thoughts and a blog post will be forthcoming.

Second, how do you talk to 4-year-olds about menstruation?  I'm starting to get regular periods again and since I have very little bathroom privacy, the questions are soon to come.  We have a firm No Lying policy in regards to answering questions, although we keep everything age appropriate.  I try not to extrapolate and only answer the questions that are directly asked.  I keep answers general unless they start asking for more specific information.

It seems like "Girls bleed from their girl parts sometimes" might be sort of scary.  Is there a better way to phrase it?  They know C was in my uterus, so maybe "When there's no baby in my uterus, the blood comes out occasionally"?  "The uterus sheds its lining" seems a little adult sounding.  I'm looking for a nice, non-scary, age appropriate explanation.  Exact wording appreciated.

For what it's worth, I have gone from horrible I WANT TO DIE cramps (pre E and L) to light cramping, resolved with a couple ibuprofen, post E and L to cramps?  What cramps? post C.  It's nice.  Maybe my uterus is like, "I shot a 10 lb baby outta here!  What a little lining?"